A Letter to My 2015 iMac

We had a good run.

We worked so well together.

There were never any hiccups or struggles between us.

It was smooth sailing. Always.

Where did you go?

On Monday you were absolutely fine — your normal self. On Tuesday we did an important video meeting, and you performed great. But then on Wednesday when I woke you up, you greeted me with a solid black screen and an ominous looking message with a suggestion to contact apple support.

What in the world?? You didn’t give me any sort of warning that you were near the end.

I did everything I could to bring you back. I took your suggestion and connected with the experts. I even tried all the tricks I could find when I searched, My computer has a black screen and I can‘t log in. Help!

It seems all the life has gone from you.

Maybe it’s better this way? A quick clean break.

I’m a bit suspicious though. Just the other day I said to Nick, out loud in your presence, that you were getting older. That you were almost ten years old! That I might have to start thinking about replacing you. Did you actually hear me say that?? Did I hurt your feelings? Or did you take it as a sign that you’d done your duty, and it was a good time to check out?

Or do you have an internal clock of some sort, put there by your manufacturer? A clock that when it reached zero, you just ceased to work, forcing me to spend my money on the newest model even though you and I were doing just fine together?

It really seems like that could be the case. I guess I’ll never know.

Ten years IS a long time.

Ten years ago I was in the middle of navigating a bit of a career re-direction. Things had been hard, and I was getting back on my feet. The future was uncertain, but full of a lot of possibility.

I was on my own. Dipping my toes into the world of self employment. I was learning how to get my work out there for people to see. We made my first website together.

You were there to support me when I started taking on jobs with some large brands. Some of these companies had long storied traditions. I had feelings of inadequacy pretty frequently, but we figured it out together.

When I signed on for my first book illustration job I was overwhelmed, and I knew it would stretch me, but I was also thrilled to have the challenge. It was the direction I wanted my career to go. Now I’m several books in, with several more waiting on deck.

When it came to video meetings you really excelled. You were my window into the offices and homes of the editors and art directors I get to work with, who mostly live in big cities on the east coast.

Remember when my internet got disconnected by the guys who were putting a new roof on my house? When I asked them about why they cut those wires they had a blank look on their faces, and acted all innocent even though their body language said they were very guilty. And then remember how they never fessed up to it, and we had to wait a long time to get connected to a new service, so for a while I packed you up and took you to some other locations to get work done? I’m guessing that was quite the adventure for you. Even though you weren’t designed to be portable, you hung right in there. Remember that?

I really hate to have lost you. But I can’t overlook the fact that your timing was perfection. I had been working overtime the past few weeks to meet the deadline on a project that had been in progress for almost a year. I had just sent in all the final pages. If you had gone a few days earlier you really would have left me in a pickle.

That was very considerate of you.

We had a pretty good run, didn’t we? You do know this whole time I was backing up all my files and stuff to an external storage system, right? So don’t worry about that. I guess deep down I knew this would eventually happen.

Your successor has arrived. I’m guessing we will get along just fine. He is sleek and fast. But smaller. They don’t make screens like yours anymore. I’ll miss that.

A few years down the road, when technology advances and becomes more cutting edge (and scarier?) I’ll probably look back and think about how primitive you were. Or, more likely, I’ll feel nostalgic. You were what I needed. Thanks for getting me this far.

Your service is appreciated.

xo Carrie

🖤🖤🖤